YaYa's question

My 24 year old granddaughter, Aleah, better known as "YaYa" is a real treat. A couple of Sundays ago we sat cross legged on the floor and chatted.

"So how's life?" I asked.

"Great!"

"How's your marriage going?"

"Good!"

"How's Jack?" (Her husband was working.)

"He's great! He's working hard, he's good with the kids and he does anything I ask him. Of course, he's not fully involved in the program, you understand, but he's trying.

"What does that mean… fully involved in the program?" I was getting a little concerned now.

"You know, when Jack comes home if the kids and I are still alive and the house is not on fire, it's all good. I do the fine tuning; that stuff like who needs new shoes, who goes to the doctor, when is gymnastics class, when do the cars need to be tuned up, what to do on the weekend. That's all outside Jack's realm of thinking. He seems kind of simple. Sometimes I see him staring off into space and when I ask him what he's thinking about he tells me nothing. Nana, is it possible he's really that simple?"

I didn't think I was ever going to stop laughing. I am ashamed to say I have asked that very same question myself and I still didn't know the answer.

Two nights later I had dinner with my grandson Jacob, YaYa's 22 year old brother. We chatted about work and love and relationships and women and … men. At some point in the evening I asked him YaYa's question… okay, it's my question too.

"Jacob," I said, "when a man is just sitting and staring and his woman asks him what is he thinking about and he says nothing… what is he really thinking about?"

Jacob leaned across the table and looked me in the eye. "Nana," he said. "the real truth is we are thinking about nothing. We may be thinking about something that happened at work or something we saw on the way home or maybe even something someone said to us but the minute a woman asks what we are thinking about the word nothing just pops out. I know women would like to think we have something significant on our minds but we usually don't. I wish I could tell you we did but that's the truth. We leave that deep stuff to you women. We're too simple for that."

I suddenly saw the opportunity of a lifetime. "Jacob," I said, leaning in close, "if a woman ever asks you that question the answer is, 'I am only thinking of how wonderful you are.'"

Jacob paused for a moment, nodded skowly and said, "Why yes it is. Thank you Nana."

Then he laughed.